Nov 9, 2009

He Saved Me. Little. Insignificant. Me.

I am currently involved in an online book club, and from time to time I will be posting something regarding the book or my experience as I read it. The book is "the organic God" by Margaret Feinberg, published by Zondervon. So far, it is a beautiful description of her experience of God. After the first chapter, I just wanted to find her and give her a hug, it was so lovely! She was talking about her early experiences with God, so that is what I am going to do...

I was raised in the church, and probably had many opportunities to accept Christ, and perhaps did when I was very young, but when I really accepted Christ is a different thing altogether!

I am not sure what your philosophy is, but I struggle with the idea that a young  child (under 5) really understands the decision enough to make a "true decision" for Christ... not saying it DOESN'T happen, I just think that a 4-year-old's relationships are VERY different than a 6-year-old's (just looking at peer relationships). Developmentally speaking, they don't even have true empathy until 5 years old. Not that it probably matters, because if they aren't old enough to make the choice, God will most likely NOT condemn them to hell.

Enough of the Child Development talk. I DID know Him when I was very young, I believed in Him, and even felt His spirit on more than one occasion, but my first true "worship" experience didn't happen until I was 9.

A very hot day in August, my Sunday school teacher explained how we can accept Christ, and I went home and asked my mom about it. She led me in the Sinners Prayer, kneeling in our living room in front of our old gold love seat. My sister, who was almost 11, was out in the backyard swimming with a friend. Just as we finished the prayer, I was overcome with a giddy joy, I wanted to laugh or maybe cry, I felt ALIVE!

My sister and her friend came in to grab a snack and the first thing she said to me was "Is there something different about you? You look different somehow" I laughed and told her that I had just accepted Christ, and she and her friend (who happened to be the son of a missionary, just home from Kenya) danced and screamed and hugged me, and welcomed me into the family.

But that is not the whole story... if we were to go back in time a few months...

I had a reoccurring nightmare (I was a fearful child... but that is a different story, for another time). The nightmare centered around a monkey bar play set we had, I don't know if we had it then, but we had it for many years before that summer.

This was a perfect play structure for a home with 2 girls. There were 4 ladders connected by 4 bars (perfect for flipping around and breaking your arm) which all met together in the middle. The whole octagon shaped set was probably 5 feet tall in the middle, which had a "trapeze" bar hanging from it, just a U shaped bar, attached with closed S brackets at the top - a little "swing". Amazingly enough, we had this set up on grass, and NOT even anchored into anything, amazing that no one ever broke anything.

In my dream I was sitting in the middle on the trapeze bar, and my sister, my two cousins and someone else were all standing on each ladder. As we played, the structure began to grow and grow, soon it was 10000+ feet high! Above the clouds, the ground was a terrifyingly distant thing... it was cold there, and I was scared sitting in the middle. Soon the other 4 began to rock the structure (which was a common occurrence), I held on with all my might, but soon I lost my grip and began to fall, and fall and fall.

Each time I would wake up just before I hit the ground, I knew I would die if I did, I would be drenched in sweat and have that feeling in my stomach like I just fell 10000 feet. I had this dream dozens of times that summer before I made my decision.

The night after I accepted Christ, I had the dream again. The structure grew, I was shaken and I fell, and fell.  This time, however, a giant hand came out of the sky and caught me, and lowered me gently to the ground. A voice said "You're safe now."

I never had that dream again.
Jesus, in His infinite mercy and grace, reached down and saved me.
Isn't He so GOOD!?

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7 comments:

  1. SPEAKING FROM THE CRIBNovember 10, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    that's a great story! He is good! thanks for stopping by the crib! the loon is engaged and the tree is up! and gorgeous! ta-da! :)

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  2. That is a beautiful and inspirational story. Thank you for sharing.

    Holly

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  3. Happy to find your blog too! What a great testimony! How fun!

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  4. I love being stalked more than anything. :)

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  5. That is very powerful !, I have dreams that convey powerful things to me also . It's good for me to hear that God speaks to others in dreams ,too.
    Blessings & Huggs,
    Myrna

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