Nov 19, 2009

No projectile vomiting, to be a controlling mom, hand soap and a few more. So many things to be thankful for! 11-20

Off Center Thanksgiving

11. Self-Deception/Denial. What's not to love about these things?! They make life more comfortable. For example: If you think you are a really "laid-back" mom (because who really wants to be seen as a controlling, uptight mom?), but you have your kids on a strict schedule, you control where they can play, and when, you don't allow them to ask "why", spank them for even a hint of disobedience... etc... it's more comfortable to be "self deceived" than to admit that you are a controlling uptight mom. (Goes both ways). Thank you for that.

12. That I can be a controlling, uptight mom. Now, I am not deceived when I say this. My kids are not perfect, but I have had them on a schedule since they were very young. My kids are a little afraid of me. I like that. I promise I hardly ever beat them.

13. That neither one of my kids have projectile vomited in the last few months. I think all mothers should praise God for this (if it is true) every day. A little story: We were coming home from a family vacation to Disneyland... 6.5 hours in the car, finally get home and start a load of clothes. It's late. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. I'm tired. Then sewage starts to back up in our shower. Not just a little splash but a ohmygawdthereisdiarrheainmyshower... as I dry heave. Then I hear that familiar sound, my 2 year old starts to cry I head into his room just in time to see him throw up ALL OVER his bed, the floor, himself...

There is sewage backing up in my shower... the kid's bath... there is vomit all over my son's room. I don't know what to do. I am dry heaving and trying to help him. In the end, I clear his bed, give him a sponge bath, and drop all of the soiled clothing etc. in the garage by the non-functioning washer. I then sleep on the floor in his room, holding a bucket and yelling "IN THE BUCKET, IN THE BUCKET" all night.. I hate vomit. Especially when there is no drainage from my house. (It was a tree root issue in the main line... it was fixed by the next day)

14. Hand soap.  There is nothing better than warm water and good smelling hand soap.  mmmm

15. That I can correctly use the words there, their, and they're and your and you're. It might be an underrated skill, but at least I don't annoy other people like me.  You know... obnoxious know-it-alls.

16. Patrick Dempsey - I know.  I'm married.  I can't help it.  I have thought he was hotness since the days I had Fred Savage on the wall in my bedroom.  Yes. You read right.  Fred Savage.  You know... Patrick's "Can't buy me Love days". SO CUTE!  I almost peed my pants when I saw "Enchanted" for the first time.

17. The ability to rationalize/justify just about anything. This is a skill that only gets better with use.  How else can I eat my kid's Halloween candy or buy another pair of black flip flops, I ask you?  I aim to be, GUILT FREE!

18. Friends who will not judge me for watching "Desperate Housewives" and "Brothers and Sisters", while drinking a margarita.  I mean really!  I am a Christian gal with morals!  I can't deal when someone responds to this confession with "WHAT?! That seems so inconsistent with your character!"  hmmm.  Thank you.  I think.

19. My Vagina. I am glad I'm a girl.  I am.  I get to have babies and get to hide behind the whole "weaker sex" excuse.  I think it's grand.  Hope that doesn't offend.  Just sayin'.

20. Movie Popcorn.  You might think... why would she jump from her vagina to movie popcorn?  I have no answer... it's the next thing that jumped into my mind.  I love it.  It's salty and buttery and in a really big container.  I don't even mind the fact that it costs half of my husband's paycheck!   I just love popcorn... especially with free refills!

More to follow!  I would love to hear some of your small and strange things that you are thankful for! Post in comments, or write your own post.  :)



  1. Oh I can so relate to the projectile vomiting thing (son had severe reflux his whole 1st year) and the margarita thing only my guilty pleasure is Top Chef or Chopped or Next Iron Chef or something similar with a nice glass of red wine!

  2. OMG. Ok, so as I started reading I was like "I am totally going to find at least one or two in common to comment about. I can relate to ALL of them in 11-20 at least minus the Patrick Dempsey one. *Note, apparently I don't like Johnny Demp OR Patrick Dempsey! LOL! Fantastic blog!

  3. LOL.......dude this is the funniest ever! So glad neither one of my children has ever vomited...Praise the Lord. That story about the Disneyland trip sounds like close to what hell might be like.And I am so with you on the Desperate Housewives thing, But I also like The real Houswives, who are really horrible people that I can't stop watching:) Great post mama!

  4. Oh my gosh...I'm laughing so hard! I am not quick enough or a good enough writer to come up with these great things. I can only say I love Desperate Housewives (with red wine of course) and Grey's Anatomy (with the same wine), and I am so glad I've never had projectile vomit. Just any vomit is no good for me. And Patrick....dreamy:)

  5. OH yeah, with the controlling. It works. Set the rules early. No problems later!

  6. I love the fact that I can blame everything on PMS and pregnancy whenever I'm moody n emotional. But the hubby does not know this bit. Never explained it to him He just lets me cry my heart out without saying a word and then I feel all better.

  7. My daughter listens to me most of the time. its my son who is in the "NO" phase and refuses time outs and warnings. Got to work on that. I do not believe in beating or hitting kids. It only teaches them that when you are angry you hit. nothing else


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