Dec 12, 2009

(It's a twofer!) You know you're a mother when...

I'll admit, this is a repost... it's one that I posted back when I'm fairly certain no one read my posts. It's really okay. I'm not bitter. MUCH.

A while back I told a good friend that she ought to write down all of the ridiculous things she has to say to her kids when she's on the phone (with me), or just day by day. These are things that I've said (or say daily) that help me remember that I am a mother.

1. GO PLAY! (I find this ironic... like telling a bird to fly)

2. Don't lick your sister

3. Don't sit on your brother's head

4. Stop pouring milk on your arm

5. No, you can't wrap your sister up in a blanket and sleep on her

6. Stop touching your eye

7. Stop touching your sister's eye

8. Please don't lick your finger and stick it in your belly button

9. Don't lick the bathtub

10. Stop eating crumbs off the floor

11. No more laughing

12. I will stop this car if you don't stop, and if I stop this car, you'll be sorry

13. Please don't drink the bath water

14. Don't pour water on the table and lick it off

15. No more knock knock jokes

16. No more pretending to smoke (saw it in an old cartoon... thats all it took)

17. We don't say "kinky" in this house... (B makes up words... sometimes they have OTHER meanings...)

18. Don't push your sister off of your bed

19. Don't play in the toilet!!

20. Please stop talking about blood...

21. Sweetie, if you continue to talk about ripping the head off a turkey I think I might be sick.

22. You should not be so mean to your friend. Now take this "go away" note off your door and go play with him!

23. Stop touching your pants.

24. Who left this dirty sock in the refrigerator?!

25. Stop shaking your bottom and singing "see my booty?" Nice girls don't do that.

I'm sure there are more... Stopping there. Please tell me the most ridiculous or humorous thing you've ever said to your child, add to my list of the absurd.

Just me, AJ


  1. Just last night I said to my almost 3yr old "Don't spit in my ear ever again!" Then today I told him "Get your butt out of your sisters face!"

  2. I have told my little one not to drink the tub water too.

    Then I tell her not to pick her nose.

    That is not nice.

    Stop jumping on the bed.

    It is nap time lay down and be quiet no more talking, jumping or singing.

  3. Yup, my daughter does the same dance!

  4. Lately, it's been: "If your brother wants out of the kitchen cabinet, you have to let him out!"

  5. this was a very funny and comforting post. knowing that i'm not the only one with crazy kids. mine is usually,

    get your hands out of your pants!

    if i see you eat your booger one more time, i'll tape your mouth shut!

    unlock the door. right. now!

    i love my kids :) especially my 3 yr old!

  6. Those had me cracking up! I know I've said more than few of those to my kids!!

    I know I've also told my son on several occasions: No eating bugs.

  7. "Take the poker chip out of your pj's"

  8. "Lemons are not weapons."

    "Don't puke in the sink."

  9. Awarding you right back. Come by to pick it up!

    Crack me up! "Stop licking your sister" Heehee!

  10. Oh good gravy! This had me laughing so hard, LOLOL. Oh my... I love it! Gee, I'm gonna have to dig deep and try to remember some of those things that were said way back when...:)

  11. LOL, Those are to cute. I'll have to think about some stuff mine have come up with. There are alot. Thanks for sharing.


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