Feb 18, 2010

Controversial? Having 20 children... accepting God's blessings or irresponsible over achievement? Discuss

Warning, I might have my usual amount of sarcasm and irony thrown in, but I might get serious and might sound passionate about this topic. I apologize if I sound preachy.

Lately I have been considering this topic. As a Christian, there is a lot to consider. For example: God creates every child that is born... so does that mean there are EVER children born that God isn't pleased about? What about teen moms? Why would God allow girls who can barely afford their lifestyles to have a baby, but NOT allow women (many whom I know and love) who are responsible and stable to have a baby? What is that about?

I mean REALLY?! He gives her a million babies, but can't give just ONE to a normal, stable family?

This leads me to the next thought: if we have free-will, and if the potential consequence of unprotected sex is a baby, can't we look at babies as the expected consequence of sex?  In that case, though God created us to create life with our bodies, and certainly had a hand in the creation of the baby, I would guess that every baby born is NOT God's plan... that our free-will was the reason we had a baby. 

So, logically, just because we CAN have babies, doesn't mean we SHOULD have babies.  I am just wondering at what point does the excuse that we are following God's command "be fruitful and multiply" stop being relevant, because... there are more than 6.8 billion of us right? So, haven't we multiplied enough?

This is a great, Godly, family that really believes what they are doing is right in God's eyes.  They really believe that when God is done giving them children, they won't have anymore. They have 19 children...19!!! They had major complications with the last one, but she says they are still "open" to having more. Can someone explain this in a way that makes sense??!

Look at this and tell me that people should get to have as many babies as they want:

What about the hundreds of thousands of kids RIGHT HERE in the USA who are given away every year or taken from homes where people abuse, neglect and damage their children?  Why couldn't these families who desire to have a couple dozen kids just start adopting?  Why won't the government make it easier?

Okay, now I'm done.
What do you think?  
Should people have as many children as they want? OR is it irresponsible to "overpopulate" the world with your own uterus?  How many is too many?

Just me, AJ


  1. I feel like I can argue both sides of this issue. Should individuals or couples be limited in the number of children they can have? I don't think so. My husband and I have three children and are considering a fourth. We haven't made a final decision on it but I think we both like having the option. On the other hand, I do think financial resources, emotional stability, etc. should weigh heavily in the decision making process. So, does that mean poorer families cannot procreate? Not necessarily. See what I mean? I can go in circles all day on this! Great post; very thought provoking! :)

  2. Blech. These large families are abusing and taking advantage of earth's natural resources. And it is unacceptable in my opinion.

    I should also say I am not religious at all and maybe if I was it would make me think differently but I believe in free will.

  3. I don't think there should be laws enacted or anything, but I do think children of huge families probably don't get enough QT with mom and dad and likely are partially raised by their siblings. Doesn't seem very fair to them.

  4. I think EVERY single child is a miracle from God. But I also think that there are many things on this earth that are so complicated that if you believe in God and Christianity and what that means, then you just have to come to a point where you let go of the why's and just accept that it is. As a Christian I DO believe that God has a plan and I also believe that the enemy also has a plan. If someone has tons of kids but they are raising them with all of their needs met, then I think its none of my business. If I see a child being neglected then I think it does become the business of the public. Now define neglect . . . Whew! Deep stuff for a Thursday!

  5. I do think that no one should have the right to have children taken away from them; that you should be free to have however many children you want.

    That being said I also believe that people should be responsible. Having children is a privilege. Treat it as such.

  6. I believe that if your are stable, finacially and mentally then you should be able to have as many children as you want.

    There are so many children in this world that need adopted. Maybe that is why some people are not able to have children of there own. They already have a child out there waiting for them:)

    Good topic!

  7. In general, I think that it's crazy to have that many kids. However, the Duggars are an exceptional and very spiritual family. I think that God is really using them to show people what it s like to live a Godly life. What an incredible example they are.

    Though, I don't think that it's right to say that if God didn't want them to have more kids, he would stop giving them kids. There are so many things I could do and say well, if God didn't want me to have this, then...you know?

  8. I just read your post, I dont have much time to reply, but in short religion or not, having that many kids is just plain crazy and I do believe their are part of some disturbing religious cult. Who in their right mind chooses to have that many kids?
    Regardless, my biggest problem is that neither the "Octomom" or the 19 plus parents can take care of ALL of their kids on their OWN. meaning just the two of them. They HAVE to rely on nannies or their own children to care for their other kids. I hightly doubt that this is what GOD had in mind when he created the littlest kids.

  9. I think all parents should have to go through the classes and background checks that adoptive parents have to before they are allowed to concieve...and then if you can show that you can afford 39 children...go for it....I do not think the Dugger family children get enough attention and the older ones are being made to grow up way to fast in that they have to take care of little brothers and sisters all the time....if as a couple mommy and daddy, you can't do it on your own then i guess you are done having kids....You need to be responsible and make wise choices...I do agree that these large families are taxing the Earth too....why do you think China made the one child rule. Just my opinion

  10. This reminds me of the death debate. Like God never meant for us to die, but sin came in and seperated us there fore we do..but can have everlasting life, well you know that:). He can turn the most horrible, to us,of sins to work for His Glory. People will not stop having sex, and we don't want to limit their children, because that means abortion, which is murder. So people need to be responsible for themselves, after all they are adults....mostly:0)! Oh my I could go on and on!

  11. Oh boy, you sure know how to get the pot stirring don't you? Let me see if I can make what I'm thinking actually come out logically.
    1. God gives us free will.
    2. God is in control of all things.
    3. 1 and 2 might seem to contradict each other but God says His ways are above my ways, so I have to accept that BOTH are true and move on.
    4.Comparing octo-mom and the Duggar family are like comparing chopped liver to prime rib.
    5.Octo-mom did not have children to follow God's plan for her life. She did it for whatever twisted reasons and to get fame and fortune.
    6.The Duggars, while they have a tv show, are a godly, neighbor-loving, Christ-like family. Have you ever seen their children throwing fits the way the Gosselin chidren did? Have you ever seen Jim Bob and Michelle put themselves above the family and their children?

    Ok...now that I think I said all I needed to, the dscision to have ANY child, natural or adopted, is a decision that should be decided among three people. Husband, wife, and God.

  12. I think if they're loved and cared for well, then I can't really complain, but honestly....

  13. I must apologize, I am not really comparing Octomom and the Duggers anymore than I am saying that God gave both of them children...

    Good points all around! I think that I don't agree with what China did (because now they have NO women... so strange) but I tend to lean toward getting a license to have kids, just like you have one to get married and the procedure you go through to adopt... but that won't work because babies come naturally... and if someone has an unlicensed baby, what are we gonna do about it? Nothing. that's what.

  14. I don't know. I feel like, if you can provide for the children, go ahead.

    But the Duggar family has more trouble than just having a lot of kids. But since they can provide, they don't bother me near as much as Octomom.

    They're both ridiculous though.

  15. Wow, this is a tough one. Obviously people have a choice, and that's a good thing, but with choice you get responsibility to make a *good* choice. How much time can you devote to each child if you have dozens to care for? Very thought-provoking, thanks.

    PS I'm a new follower through Trendy Treehouse's Follow Friday, nice to meet you!

  16. :)
    I don't believe in literal interpretations of the Bible, therefore I'm thinking what you said is right on the money.

    I don't think that God decided who has or doesn't, who has many and who doesn't. I think free will runs our life and how you live it or don't is the big tie in with God.

    I don't wanna get preachy either, lol. I think 19 is too many, personally. I think they took the Be Fruitful and Multiply a bit too far.

  17. I am all for having children but a line needs to be drawn for parents with 19 of them. There is absolutely no way that undivided attention can be paid to every one, and as someone else said earlier, I think many of them are consequently then raised by their siblings.

    I could go on about the resources that are wasted to provide for these children but this has also already been covered. I'm sure that "God" would agree with me on this one: adoption is a much better option because every child deserves this type of love.


  18. It would be interesting to know the statistics, i.e, how many families have more than, say, 5 kids.
    In my neighborhood of 800 homes, at the moment, I can't think of anyone that has more than 5. But I'm sure there are large families in the neighborhood - I just don't know them.
    My point - Should we worry about a very, very small percentage of women who choose to have large families? In this beautiful, free country of ours, people are going to make choices that we don't agree with.
    If it were not for TV and us watching it, we wouldn't know about Octomom and the Duggars.
    I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with you or the others - I think your opinions are valid. I'm just pretty neutral on the subject.
    God bless ALL kids.

  19. I don't think it's for everyone. And I DEFINETLY don't think that all who attempt this do a good job. Octo-mom for example. But, as for the Duggars and anyone like them, I think they're doing quite well. They provide for them much better then some with only one child. Do their older children help some with the younger? Yes. Is that bad? I don't think so. All of their children are polite, well educated and honestly MCUH more grounded then most kids out there. When hardship happens they turn right to God, even without their parents there to guide them. They have a personal conviction of God, you can see it in their interviews. All their kids will be well prepared for the future. That's more then I can say for most teenagers. I hope I can raise my kids to be as well prepared for adulthood!
    o. I found you via Follow me Fridays. (and I'm glad I did!) Thanks for the stirring post! I like stuff that makes me think. I look forward to more. :)

  20. When you see and hear of so many cases of abuse and neglect, you start to wonder why these people were allowed to have multiple children, let alone one.

    That's something I wrestle with also. And I think you said it well. Just because you can doesn't necessarily mean you should.

  21. I can see point on both sides. Octomom is ridiculous...I could go on and on (I have a funny story about my friend running into her at Disneyland too). However crazy I may think the Duggar's are, they are self-sufficient, self-supporting and if they want to keep having kids...it is their call. They seem to be doing a better job with their 19 than most with their 1 or 2. I am continually sad for the children without homes and families.

  22. Hi!
    I found you through Follow Me Fridays, and glad I did. Your blog is great! I am now following you and hope you can come to my blog to follow me, too!

    Very thought-provoking post. There are several commenters I agree with. The one comment that most echoes how is feel is by Tracy above.

    Also, my husband and I are two of those people who couldn't have children of our own, though we desperately wanted them. We both come from stable loving close-knit families, we are financially self-sufficient, have a huge support network of family and friends, a good home, good jobs..I could go on and on but I am sure you get the picture. You can darn well bet I get so hurt and angry when I see people like Octomom or the Gosselins and even the Duggars able to have a bazillion kids and we were not able to even be blessed with one.

  23. This is such a hard topic.. being a woman who is struggling to have just one child can feel such envy, and that envy can turn into anger for a mom with so many children. one who did not even try!
    I was blessed with three children and for any woman struggling to give birth, I send good vibes for success!


  24. I don't think there should be a law to limit how many kids someone can have but maybe there should be a law to limit how many embryos can be implanted. Dogs and cats were meant to have litters - humans weren't.

    In my field, I see the issues that micro-preemies have. (And their parents are dealing with these issues every day as well.) I worry about those sorts of things when I hear about multiple births.

  25. I agree with Tracie. I think it's extremely irresponsible for any doctor to implant multiple embryos into any person and cause a potential multiple birth. In terms of the Dugger's, though, I do think they're nuts. I mean, that last baby had serious problems. I think it's time to stop, now. Like, let your 19 kids or whatever have some of their own!!


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