May 1, 2010

Sunday Soaking - Weeping at His feet

This last weekend I had the opportunity to go to a Women's Retreat in the beautiful Santa Cruz Mountains near the Central Coast of CA.

While I was there I had a really amazing encounter with the Living God. I will probably be talking about it over the next couple of Sundays, but decided to start with a little testimony.

I have been a believer in God since I could first understand the concept of an invisible God who is present.  I can remember first feeling the Holy Spirit when I was 5.  I didn't make a decision though, until I was 9.  You can read about that story here, but come back for the rest of this one.

When you read about the various women who were featured in the stories of Jesus, which do you most quickly identify with?  Martha? Jesus' mom?  Not me.  For the last 15 years I have identified with the woman at the well, Mary Magdalene, or more likely the sinful woman who washed His feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.

I identify with the shame you can see in some of them.  Like the woman at the well, who avoided the crowds and instead went to fill her jug when it was hot and no one would be around, or the noticeable hunger for Jesus' presence in Mary, who sat and raptly attended to Jesus' words and message while her sister, Martha attended to Jesus' needs. 

I've identified myself as a "impure" woman for so long, it's like I forget that I've been married for 10.5 years in a physically and spiritually pure marriage.  I discovered anew this weekend that God isn't done with me yet and apparently is ready for me to lose that particular lock and chain and live in freedom from shame and guilt.

I will go more deeply into this story next week, but please be praying what God has to tell you over the next few weeks.

Hoping for a blessed and beautiful day for each of you!

Just me, AJ


  1. Praise the Lord! Jesus= Freedom from the chains!!!! I love these revelations He gives us. I feel you though, with my past it is easy for me to feel like I am the worst sinner of all the Christians:O)praying for you!

  2. Sounds like a great retreat! I think I think I mostly identify with the Proverbs 31 lady - I was thinking about her at 4 am when I got up to make bread ;P

  3. Dear ma'm
    surprise is waiting for u at my place:)
    these days i am preparing for my final exams so inactive... anyways that does not stop me from visiting u its... very inspiring and positive...

  4. Hi, I stumbled on your blog and I love reading it, it's so genuine! It's kinda weird that I can feel peace and love from just reading your words over the internet.

    Anyways, I think it's interesting that you identified with the "sinner" woman- I think most of us actually do tend to identify with her, because we are so racked with guilt over everything we do and feel like we are stuck in this tainted woman ideal. I recently grew tired of always feeling guilty, and decided I was going to rid myself of it, because guess what? God loves me so much, no matter what I do or if I make mistakes. And to truly know he loves us is what makes me feel like I don't have to beat myself up everytime I make a mistake. It's amazing to be free from that horrible, nagging feeling.


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