May 27, 2010

Think about it Thursdays - A Mom's Hours

I've found a new theme to write on! I already had one just like it, called Something I Think About, and probably the Controversial Topics one I have done a few times would fall under this category but found this one over at Mom's the Glue and liked the name better.

So, without further ado... here is a button that I made... because every good theme has a button.

The thought for the day: What are a Mom's hours?

Once upon a time I had a discussion with my husband (read: fight) about what my job is as a SAHM.  First let me say that D is supportive, a wonderful father, a relatively neat person and one of the hardest workers I've ever known.

In fact that is what the fight was about.  He got fed up with me complaining at the end of the day about how the kids drove me crazy that day and how I needed to get out and be alone.  He pointed out that he rarely complains about his job, that he just does what he needs to do and works hard at it.  From his point of view I was complaining about the kids, not spending nearly the appropriate amount with them that I should be (so NOT true), spending far too much time on the computer and not keeping the house clean enough.  It's my job.  I need to do my job and not complain.

Before you get your feminist panties in a bunch, I don't disagree with this... at the moment I had some choice words for him, but upon further consideration I discovered that he was probably right... at least about it being my job, so I shouldn't complain.  However, I came back with this monologue:

"Right, you work hard and you don't complain, and you come home at 5:30pm and you can leave it all at the office.  If someone is annoying you, you don't have to look at them, talk to them, deal with them until you go back at 8am tomorrow morning. What about me? The kids bedtime is 8pm.  I work HARD solidly from around 4:30pm, when I start making dinner until their bedtime, cooking, cleaning, bathing, reading, etc. etc.  Once they go to bed, it is MY side of the bed they come to in the middle of the night when they have a bad dream or they vomited on their floor.  I start work as soon as I get out of the shower in the morning, making sure they are dressed, brushed, fed, have all of their homework/field trip permission slips and lunches for the day.  Even if they are at school, that's where I am too, or I work at my part time job.  After school, I can't focus all of my brain on any one task because the kids need to be kept entertained or on task.  On the weekends, you sleep in. I get up with them at some unGodly hour and make breakfast.  You go out in the yard and garden, which you find relaxing, I am responsible to make sure they don't kill each other. When do I get home from work?  When is my weekend? At what point can I let my guard down and "leave it at the office?"

So, moms, what say you?  What are a mom's hours?  Do you ever "get home from work"?  What are ways that you relax at the end of the day?  How to you protect yourself from bitter resentment?

Mommy Rhapsody from Church on the Move on Vimeo.


Just me, AJ

10 comments:

  1. I want to HUG YOU right now, because I have had this conversation before too! My husband has been awesome enough to even tell me he's glad I stay home (so many moms don't get to hear that), but there is still some confusion about how much of a challenge it really is!

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  2. This is a good topic, AJ. Because I too agree, that if I am not outside of the home working, than I hold more responsibilities at home. I consider it my job, too.

    The weekends we work well together and I don't have any resentment. But I hear ya on the night time thing. He gets to come home, chill out, play with the kids and I feel like I am still going.

    But it is what it is and I chose to be here with the kids so I try not to hold any grudges.

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  3. My husband was always a great help, but of course, is IS afterall but a man and there were times that I had those feelings. My reaction was to find something to do for the day or I would go crazy. A very long day with the kids and their wants and needs was enough for alittle more understanding.

    Of course, this needs to be repeated at least every month or two.

    Moms don't have hours. We just have days. lol. Everything meshes together in one big ball of time. :o)

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  4. To add to this: since that conversation, he's been far more understanding, I've been less whiney (I think) and we share the kids more on the weekends... even if that just means they are outside with him doing yard work.

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  5. After reading this, and writing my blog we need girl time.
    How about next Tuesday 730pm????????

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  6. I haqve to agree with you! I was a full time working mom, and my kids were beasts. Now that I'm a SAHM, my kids are getting it together, and better yet, my toddler, who is the reason I'm a SAHM is the most happy kid I ever met.

    Visiting from FF, following you! Hope to see you at Dropped Stitches!


    xo Erin

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  7. AJ! This was a great post! Having just come back from 10 days away from my family, I must say, despite all the craziness, there really is no place like home!

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  8. This is why moms are so tired...we work 24/7. Even when my kids are asleep, I do not think I fully sleep..I feel like I am always on alert in case they need me.

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  9. This is so important.

    I stay up late to get my free time. EIther reading, or blogging, or writing.

    It is very important, that I'll give up some sleep in exchange.

    Nice post, thank you.

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  10. This could be my husband and myself talking, but to be fair, he is a HUGE help at the end of the day and I really appreciate his support.

    But we have had these same "discussions" and I understand where you're coming from.

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