Jan 13, 2011

This is the best year EVER! 20 tips to the best year!

20 ways to make THIS year the best EVER!

20. Positive thinking. Repeat after me: "this WILL be the best year yet", "no matter what happens, I will smile and say 'This is the best year EVER!'"

19. Get on a diet. Seriously. We should all be suffering equally. It will make my year better if you do something really wild like that new HCG diet... you know, weird hormones, 200 calories a day in melba toast and orange juice. It will make my chocolate taste better. Thanks.

18. Eat chocolate (aka Cheat on your diet).  It will help me feel less guilty if you are just as guilty... and it makes me feel better about myself.

17. Get in shape. Just walk two miles every day. Better yet, train for a marathon. Go to the gym. Lift those weights at home. "Shred" with Jillan Michaels. I will do it too. Then we will all be able to eat more because we will have more muscle.* And then we can quit and have a month or two of muscles to keep our metabolism running while we eat bon bons and drink coke. * I do not claim to be a doctor nor a dietitian nor a expert in anything relating to weight-loss and/or muscles this is merely a suggestion so I you can have a happy year.

16. Say NO.  Take a moment and practice right now. "No".  Good.  Now when anyone asks you to commit to something new say "No."   This way, no one will like you, you will seem lazy and negative and I will follow you around and say "yes" to everything and people will like me more.  See, it makes my year better.

15.  Take time for yourself.  I guess what I mean is take MORE time for yourself.  After all, you only spend an hour or five on the computer reading, writing and commenting on blogs... you need your downtime.   Go out to dinner with friends, I'm sure your husband and children won't miss you.  Right?

14.  Be inspired by simple things.  Look around you. Enjoy the simplicity of a raindrop, a child's laugh, a cat's whiskers.  Look for a rainbow after the rain.  Search for the sand dollars after the storm.  Just don't talk about it with other people.  They will just look at you like you're loony and eccentric.  Believe me.  I know.

13.  Learn something new.  For example: learn how to correctly use these words in a written sentence:  they're, their, there, we're, were, you're, and your.  It will make me feel less like punching you in the ... keyboard.

12.  Choose civility.  Civility defined : " a : civilized conduct; especially : courtesy, politeness : b. a polite act or expression.  For example.  When someone is talking on a cell phone loudly in a restaurant (not civilized), avoid taking said cell phone and hitting them over the head with it (also, not civilized).

11. Speak gently to your children and husband.  
  • NO: "This is one of those thing I HATE about you... "  
  • YES: "I wish you would not do that"  
  • NO: "See, another example of how you are the world's biggest idiot"  
  • YES: "I am not sure that that was the best choice."  
  • NO: "I always knew I liked your sister more... "  
  • YES: "Please don't do that, it makes my head feel like it may explode." err... or something like that
10. Breathe.  If you don't, you might die.

9. Drink enough water.  It will :
  • Make your hair and nails pretty. 
  • Keep you hydrated. 
  • Help you lose weight.
  • Make you look cool - cool people carry around reusable plastic bottles of water
  • Keep your mouth busy when you want to say something ungentle or uncivil.
8. Laugh often.  Please keep #12 & #11 in mind when following this bit of advice.  Laughter is good for the body, spirit and mind.  It also makes you seem like a lot of fun!

7. Start a new hobby.  I don't think drinking is considered a hobby. (Just sayin') It will make you seem interesting.  Learn to knit, crochet, sew, bead, solder metal etc, etc.

6.  Play with your children every day.  I don't think that playing slap hands on the computer counts.  Get down on the floor with your kids, play a card game, a board game and teach them the value of losing (or winning) gracefully.  If you don't know how to do this, don't play Candyland.  That game really makes me competitive.  Practice saying "Good job, I'm sure you'll win next time." or "Great game! You lucky bastard I hope I win the next one!"

5. Read a book.  Read to your kids, read to yourself.  It makes you more interesting.  Really.  Besides when do you NOT cringe inwardly when these words come out of your mouth "The other day I was reading this blog..."  Especially if it was not the first time you said it in the conversation.

4. Spend time with your spouse (if you are married).  Have date nights, give a back rub, talk about your days, give hugs and kisses.  If you are nice to them, they might forgive you for wasting your life on the computer.

3. Intentionally seek out friends.  Go out to coffee or dinner with a friend at least twice a month.  Set up regular dates where you feel pressure to take off the yoga pants and get "pretty" for some friend time.

2. Volunteer.  Please.  This way people like me who volunteer for everything can feel less bitter about the fact that "20% of the people do 80% of the work".  Volunteer to help with school functions, church events, community events etc.  You might make friends and if you ever decide to become a politician you will be building a positive network!

1. Have sex regularly.  Preferably with your spouse.  (If you aren't married... ignore this one) It will make you happier.  This will be better for everyone!

There you have it folks! 20 tips to the best year EVER! Don't say I never give you anything.
I did this as a part of MamaKats Writer's Workshop
Just me, AJ


  1. Great tips!!!
    Having SEX regularly will MAKE you happier!!! ;)
    And being positive of course!

  2. Those date nights are SO important!!!!

  3. number 13 made me laugh out loud. I want to intentionally make a few grammatical errors in this comment just so you can punch me in the keyboard. :-)

  4. Oh, love it!! Most of them are even true!!

  5. I love this and I will be trying to do (almost) all of them! Especially number one *wink wink* since we are trying to make a darn baby!

  6. I've got the laughing under control. The rest of them...er...let's say I'm a work in progress.

    Great list!


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