Yesterday, as I was planning a trip to visit my mom (which is a four hour trip (one-way) for us), I suddenly realized that time seems to be speeding up and that the school year would be over before we know it. I know that my kids won't feel that way, but for this busy mama I was suddenly faced with my calendar for the next four months and discovered that much of my time is already accounted for.
I know that some of that is my doing. I could say "no" more often and could choose to do less for and with my kids. I don't want to. I like our busy schedule, it's crazy, but at least we have afternoons and evenings (for the most part) set aside for homework and play.
Sometimes life just seems a little "too" busy, if you know what I mean. I feel like I've been hiking up a steep hill to reach the top and discover that I am at the bottom of the next steep hill.
Being involved, engaged and busy is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes it feels like it takes on a life of it's own and you just have to "hold-on to keep-on."
It's like being on one of those old-school merry go rounds that used to be in most public parks (until a certain show featured one with a car and rope and some copy-cat kids ruined it for the rest of us.)
When my son, B, was about 3 years old, we went to a park that had a merry go round very similar to the one pictured above, and he wanted to ride on it. I set him down on the edge near a pole and reminded him to hold on tight and don't close his eyes (he gets motion sick). I very slowly pushed the merry go round in a circle, walking alongside where he sat, until I was sure he understood the force that would be trying to push him off.
Finally I stood still and pushed him around, and he squealed in excitement with each gentle push.
"Faster! Faster!" he cried.
I pushed with a little more force spinning him by me at a slowly increasing speed.
Suddenly his face got serious and he said (as he went by just one more time). "I'm done!"
As I reached out to stop the merry- go- round, he spun by me and literally flung himself off the ride and into my arms. Fortunately, I caught him and managed to keep from being knocked down.
THAT is how I am feeling. A little like I just want to jump off... things are starting to go faster and faster and I am a little overwhelmed...
This is when my mama would tell me "Just take one day at a time." But haven't you ever gotten so bogged down in the minutia of every day that you forget to look up and take stock... and when you do, you realize you're at the bottom of a steep hill... and there is no option but to go up?
I have to go UP?! I'm already exhausted.
My life is blessed. I have very little that I can complain about.
I just realized that I need a little break. Just a little break?
I wish I could stop time for a couple days and just breathe.
The scriptures says:
Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 28-31
Like my son, I want to fling myself off the Merry-go-round and I know (like he knew) that I will be caught. God knows when I've had enough. I know that I need to get better about focusing on my word for the year. ABIDE.
I love how The Message lays out Matthew 11:29: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Excuse me while I go "learn the unforced rhythms of grace".
I will leave you with this...