Mar 14, 2013

A life interrupted... {FMF}

GO...
Have you ever felt like your life has been interrupted...

Yes.  Dot. Dot. Dot. The great pause in writing {one that I frequently use}, is also a great way to look at those times in our lives where we are waiting for the rest of it to begin.

I started my waiting with hands on hips, staring at the clock.  When will I get start?  When will I discover my true purpose, my true potential, my true...

Distraction.  A handsome boy with beautiful eyes made me laugh and I wandered after him.

The next phase of waiting felt more hopeful, I stood expectantly, like a child on her birthday.  I knew something good was coming.  I could just feel it.  I knew that my calling wasn't JUST to ministry with teens and being a wife and a...

Distraction.  A handsome baby boy with beautiful eyes and the ability to make me a mother made me cry with joy and I toddled after him... and his darling little sister not too long after.

And then the waiting seemed unending.  So I sat on the couch with a toddler on one knee and an infant wrapped securely against me and I busied myself with being a mama, a wife, a youth minister, and then... an urban missionary... a room parent... a Girl Scout leader...  each phase would pass and I would glance up at the clock wondering if what I was waiting for is this.

Wondering if I had already arrived and I was just too stubborn to see.

Wondering if in fact I had imagined the dreams and created the passions and invented the voice that told me a different story.  One that was bigger than what I was living.

I looked at my Abba {my heavenly Daddy} and I pushed my lower lip out.  He grinned.  I sighed a long suffering sigh.  He shook His head as He smiled at me.  I pretended to not be interested in what He was doing, just kept busy doing what He had given me to do.

The next time I glanced up I noticed a gift.   I looked long and hard at the gift and lifted my eyes back to Him.  He nudged the gift forward.  I reached my hand up, and then withdrew it on the same path.

My eyes look down on my wringing hands.  Now that it feels like the wait is almost over...

What if what He is calling me to is more than I can handle?  What if it's more than I want?  What if it's hard or scary or ...

He cups my face in His hand and then gently lifts my head with his finger on my chin. 

When I finally look up, He is holding the gift in His hand, and it's close enough to touch.

Do I dare?
STOP



This was written as a part of 5 minute Fridays over at Gypsy Mama
Interested in linking up? Go over there for more information and to link up, but these are the rules: 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Hope to see you on the Linky!! 


In other news... I am starting work on my "I Love Summer" series that will talk all about having a fun and active summer... in fact I wrote the first post that will be linked in there earlier this week. It it called "Time for a "Screen - fast", you be the judge."

3 comments:

  1. I hope you write a follow up to this post. Soon. I can't wait to find out where God is leading you. It seems change is the new normal.

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  2. Beautifully written. The unknown and the hard ARE scary, but with Him, you can do it. I think you ARE doing what you are called to do. I truly enjoy your words.

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  3. "Wondering if I had already arrived and I was just too stubborn to see." This is pretty much the state I find myself in all the time. I think the process of searching is just as important as the answers.

    ReplyDelete

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