May 31, 2013

A stone across the waters

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. - Mother Teresa

Change is part of life.  There is no one who has been alive for more than a day who can argue about this fact.  Sometimes the change happens slowly over time, like hair turning grey or a new path in a forest.  Sometimes change happens all at once, like a tree falling or a crisis like an illness or accident.

The last month of my life has brought many changes.  Primarily within my soul and in my job.

These two areas of change are linked closely.   I resigned from my "job", the ministry that I have been fearlessly working for nearly eleven years.  For 18 years I have been in ministry with teens.  The end of this month marks the end of that particular era of my life.

I have been hands-on, meeting weekly with teenagers for 18 years.  For half of my life it is who I have been.  Today is my last day and I am not even there, because I took my last week off.  I actually had my last meetings with "my girls" over the last 2 weeks.  As I said goodbye to each group and left the places where I met with them, I shed a few tears and felt as though I cut a line to that mooring.  Soon I feared I would be adrift with nothing to tie onto.

Enter the soul struggle.  I resigned for a number of reasons, some I cannot talk about at this time, but ultimately I feel strongly that this is God's timing and He has something new for me to do.

I am terrified.
People underestimate their capacity for change. There is never a right time to do a difficult thing. – John Porter

I'm on a journey.  I know that I am not alone, nor am I without direction or guidance.  I am learning and re-evaluating.  I am experiencing the power of the refiner's fire... and let me tell you, this is no fun... but it is good.

I can't wait to see what God is doing.

As I take this journey I recognize that so many people I know, and many of you, have been through a process very similar to this.  You may have had a life-changing experience through a crisis, or other challenging life situation, you may have had God just say "no" to a prayer or a dream.

What do you do when the ground beneath you shifts?  What scriptures do you hold on to?  What prayers do you pray? What songs do you listen to? What gives you comfort?  What gives you peace?

Today, I am listening to a new song by one of my favorite artists, JJ Heller, Better Things.


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