Jul 5, 2013

I am a pretty pretty Princess ... a middle-age letter



It's not that I'm complaining. My skin is still (relatively) smooth and my eyes can still see (with the help of my glasses).  I have the full use of my legs and arms and hands and fingers and can still lift my daughter and hold her close. At just thirty-six years old I am still in the prime of life, full of energy and crazy ideas.


After fourteen years of marriage, I am no longer a spring chicken and my body is no longer the way it was when I was 16; lithe, strong, tan and why did I hate it again?  After two children and more than a decade (wait... nearly two) working with teenagers... I think I have a right to look a little worse-for-wear.


So, when you say I'm beautiful, and touch the silver that is streaking my hair (at such a young age) and tell me that you love my hair and my face and my heart and my soul... it makes me laugh.


I should say "thank you" and just smile a small secret smile and appreciate how you can see me through the lens of love.  I could just shrug and say "I know" in a sardonic tone and later pick myself apart in the mirror.  And yet, to hear you say "You're Beautiful", even as I doubt those words, I thrill at the very thought.

Do we ever grow out of the "pretty pretty princess" stage, I ask you?  Do we ever get to a point where we don't care if we are "beautiful" in the eyes of our husband? 

Will I ever hear you say those words, my love, and shrug my shoulders in boredom?

No, I believe that I will thrill every time I hear those words, that I will try to see myself through your eyes the next time I look at my face in the mirror.  To see what you see when you look at me. 

You are my mirror, my knight-in-shining-armor, my safe place in the chaos of life. 
Just like you should be.


 



This was written as a part of 5 minute Fridays over at Gypsy Mama Interested in linking up? Go over there for more information and to link up, but these are the rules: 
1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the word of the day – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
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