Jul 11, 2013

In one flying leap...

You stood on the hard wet sand, with a proud look on your face, 30 sand dollars clutched in your hands.

"I'm RICH", you said in your little boy voice and you grinned a big silly grin for my camera.

I can remember that day, the heavy salt and seaweed smell in the damp air, the feel of the breeze on my shoulders, the clouds in the sky, the cold sand between my toes.  

I remember it like it was yesterday, and yet it was more than a year ago.

That little boy is disappearing before me, sometimes slowly, like he is creeping out of the room on soft feet, sometimes in one flying leap that leaves me breathless and shaken.  

You announced today that you are growing a beard.  Defiantly you jutted out your chin and told me that you refused to shave, even when it started to get long, you would be the only boy in middle school with a full mustache and beard.  

I smirked behind my hand, looked close and noticed something I hadn't seen before.  You have little dark hairs all around your mouth.  You are 10 years old and starting 5th grade in 4 weeks, in one year you will be just shy of starting middle school and I can't seem to slow time down even a little bit. 

So instead, I choose to live in the present.  Just today.

Your little sister has lost the high-pitched Minnie Mouse voice of her baby-hood and now as a stunning 8 year old, she changes every day into more of a young woman.

I will become sad if I focus on what was.  If I remember how you could fit in my arms and your head and feet fit between my shoulders and my lap, your small hot baby breath blowing the small hairs that escaped from my pony tail as you slept contentedly against me.

I will become fearful or maybe impatient if I think about what might be.  If I hear you talk about going to Cal Poly and becoming an inventor of robots that will make our lives better.  If I hear her dream about becoming an artist and teacher.  When you talk about your fears and worries.  When she says she doesn't want to get married or have children.

The word of God warns us against worry, for good reason, because it robs us of our joy, it robs us of the ability to live in the present. Matthew 6:34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  

So today I will strive to enjoy the present.  To drink in my kids' passion and raw energy for today, because I can't change the past, nor can I control the future, but God has today, and I am right there with Him.

For another recent post about worry: Stranger Danger or living in fear... you be the judge.

This was written as a part of 5 minute Fridays over at Gypsy Mama Interested in linking up? Go over there for more information and to link up, but these are the rules: 
1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the word of the day – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
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