Aug 26, 2013

Behind the Scenes - The Perfect Couple?

I'm trying something new today.  A fun link-up with a serious message... there is a quote wandering around in bloggyland or maybe FB that says "Don't compare someone else's highlight reel to your behind the scenes."  This is an important concept, and it can't be over-said.  So I am linking up with Crystal Stine to share the behind the scenes...


Fourteen years from tomorrow my husband and I tied the knot.  We looked each other in the eye and made promises to each other that were powerful and magical and mystical. It's been a journey.

It was a beautiful day, and while I could make THIS be my "behind the scenes" and talk about all that went wrong on our wedding day... I could fill this post.   But this is just the beginning of the story.

Here we are today (well, at the end of May)... visiting Disneyland with our little family.  Don't we look like the "perfect" all-American family?  We don't have a dog, but 2 cars in the garage and a {really really old} cat in the yard, one boy, one girl... and my husband's fantastic beard.

This picture would make a great "behind the scenes" picture too... right?  I mean, a week at Disneyland, that is worth one or two blog posts!   Honest, painful, blog posts. BUT not today.

But no, the picture I am choosing... is this one:

And this one:

These were taken in May of this year.  So here is what you couldn't possibly see by looking at these pictures: we were at a concert, standing in the foyer of the beautiful performing arts center located in our town.  The person taking the picture was a pregnant friend, with her husband and two silly girls also waiting for the concert to begin.  We weren't there with them.  My husband had bought the tickets for me for my birthday (isn't he thoughtful?), because he knew I loved the artists performing.

We had rushed from watching our son receive a Gold Medal at the County Science Fair (now THAT is a behind the scenes worth writing), to make it to this concert.

The concert? Sanctus Real and JJ Heller.  It was FABULOUS!

Here is what is real: we were having a rough time in our relationship, and it was my fault.  Our marriage "drift" had reached a stretching point.   I reacted badly.  I lost hope, I gave up, I listened to all of the lies and believed that I "deserved to be happy", and reacted badly. 

So while we were smiling serenely and hamming it up for the camera, inside both of us our hearts were in little pieces.

It also doesn't show what God was doing in the midst of those little pieces.  How He was holding us together, and loving us.  How He was using the stretching point to help me remember all of my promises and the thousands of stories, the thousands of "I love yous" and the fact that HE brought us together to make both of us better than we were. 

The pictures show how my husband is a funny, funny man.  They don't show how completely and overwhelmingly he is committed to loving me with every breath.  They don't show how much I depend on him to be the man God made him to be. They don't reveal the fact that today I love him more completely than I ever have, because now I know him better than I ever did.

Tomorrow I will celebrate an anniversary that is worth celebrating.  It's a celebration of fourteen years of marriage, and it is a beginning of something beautiful. 

Here's to all the lessons I've learned over the last 14 years, and to all that I hope to learn in the next 14.  Here's to my husband.  My best friend, a great father, and one of the best people I have ever known.  Happy Anniversary my Love, we might not be perfect... but we are loved by a God that is bigger than any problems.

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  1. AJ!!!!! My Behind the Scenes going up tomorrow is from our wedding, talking about all that went wrong ;) Haha. But I digress. I love love love this post. (And love your hubby's beard... miss my man's, too, darn Army!)... The truth and honesty and vulnerability, the sharing of real life. I love it. I love knowing people on a deeper level, knowing that we are not simply the smiling, hamming-up faces in pictures. Praise be to God for His healing in your marriage, for His holding you together. Congratulations on your anniversary, and I'm cheering you on for the next 14!!!

  2. hmmm, okay just wrote long post and lost it? ug, frustrating! So will try to quickly rewrite :) Love the idea of 'behind the scenes'. I have so many pictures from 13 years of my children growing up, and they all look wonderful, but 'behind the scenes', a lot of painful things were going on (divorce, bad choices, etc.)

    Taken me a long time to realize that no matter how perfect it seems for others (congrats on Gold Medal for son's Science project! Fantastic! great concert, etc.), but that we all have our own struggles and that what is important is God, Faith, Perseverance and Love.

    Would appreciate if you check out my blog - any feedback you may have. Thanks! Karen

  3. :) Thank you for the encouragement! I will be sure to stop by...

  4. AMEN Karen! No matter what OTHER people see, the reality is that we are all a little messy under the surface (or a lot messy... in my case) Heading over to your place!


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