Aug 18, 2014

What a computer virus taught me about Grace in Marriage

I was faced with buying new Anti-Virus Protection again this year and was deciding between McAfee and Norton.  McAfee was significantly less expensive.  So knowing they are a major competitor to Norton, I thought they were just trying to gain market share, so I read the online reviews and thought GREAT!  My husband, "Computer Guy", just looked at me with raised brow and said "OK, but I like Norton".  Well little Miss Independent that I am, I decided to save the dollars and purchase McAfee.

To Computer Guy’s Credit, he let me spread my digital wings.

To Norton: I will NEVER, EVER stray again.  I am so sorry, and thank you for graciously accepting me home despite the error of my ways and for cleaning up my mess.  

GROAN, big GROAN....

Then came this:

McAfee total found in scan before Norton: 0 

Norton total: 72, YES 72 at risk items.
OF WHICH, 8 yes 8, were HIGH RISK items, ie:  back door trojan programs, spybots, and other various virus concoctions.

And I was actually wondering why I was getting email Spam to contact Russian Mail Order Brides?

TRIPLE GROAN to infinity and beyond.

Hours spent working as tech support in my own home:
This crash:  7+ hours
Previous crash 1: 4 hours
Previous crash 2: 5 hours
Total hours it has taken me to fix my computer this summer: 16 hours of sheer unwelcome summer “stuck in house fun” as Mommy tries to fix the computer.

So thanks to Norton, my computer is now back up and running with improved performance because no ugly little virus’s are using it in the back ground.  I am grateful my old-on-its-last-legs laptop has lived to see another day.   Do yourself a favor, get decent virus software, of course I am now recommending Norton and not McAfee!

Also, if you are suddenly getting spam ads in your emails for things you would never want, like Russian “Brides”, (that is the G version for family friendly blogs mind you!) Please make sure your device is up to date on virus protection from a good company, or as Computer Guy graciously put it last night...

"Well, at least you are back to Norton, now go change all our passwords"

So what did I learn from all of this?  And where is the Grace you ask?

1) Not once did Computer Guy deride me or demean me for my decision to switch Anti-Virus software, despite this being his expertise and his domain.  He let me research, learn and make my own decision.

2)  When that decision went horribly wrong, he stood by my side and encouraged me to learn to fix it ON MY OWN.  He did not do it for me, but rather encouraged me on my journey of learning.  For this I am grateful.

3) After 7 hours of process, when I finally received the green light to restart my computer from Norton, my beautiful laptop would not restart.  In near tears, I looked at Computer Guy.  And his answer is “give it time”.

3)  After the computer did restart and reload Computer Guy said “Okay let me double check” and he came over to double check the logs and teach me more on what to read and how to do it.
 After which he recommended that after all the work I did, to make sure all the virus definitions were up to date and to run another scan overnight to get a clean scan with no “fixes” in the logs double check my laptop is up and running for the mornings work.  Of course I said YES Please.  If someone offers help in their area of expertise do not be so stubborn or independent not to accept.  Even more so if it is your spouse.

4) He stood by my side even with making a mistake in his area of expertise, so that I could learn something new, and then helped me learn to fix the problem with no “I told you so’s”

5) I said “Thank you for your help” and listened.  Sometimes we need to be humble and gracious and accept help, even when we don't feel like it.

It is okay to be independent and learn new things in life and in a Marriage, it is how we grow as human beings.  But we need to give each other space to learn, space to grow and then be there for each other as we grow and learn.  Computer Guy did not sigh, or roll his eyes, nor did I get a “lecture” of I told you so.  Rather, I received encouragement, and a gentle guide to help me.  It took time, a lot of time out of my summer.  The biggest lesson in this debacle?  I learned that Computer Guy respects me enough to help me learn new things, and stood by my side to help me undo my mistakes.  The least I can do is repay the favor to him and our children as they approach teen years.

Disclaimer: this is a true life experience and I have not been paid by or received any sort of compensation be it monetary or in the form of free products from any company mentioned.  

1 comment:

  1. Hi AJ, and Hi Kelley? (Is this partnership new? I must have missed it, sorry.) Welcome! Nice to meet you, Kelley. :)

    Kelley, (groan), argh, computer problems are always scary. Now I am second guessing my own computer virus scan's ability to detect malware. Drat. :)

    What a sweet humble husband you have. It is so neat to look for, find, and celebrate the good things in our men. It seems to beget further romance, doesn't it?

    Warmly to you both, AJ and Kelley,
    Jennifer Dougan


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